The Spooky House, by Andrew

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Andrew made great use of our oral text to support the structure of his story. I really liked the way her used some empty words to really create a feeling of fear. A great piece of writing Andrew, well done!



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  1. Well done Andrew! Love the powerful adjectives which tell us the personality of the character. Keep it up!

  2. 7amda (United Arab Emirates) on said:

    your hand writing is verygood

  3. B.Sandford (United Kingdom) on said:

    Great work Andrew, I love the part where “he dashed inside”. This definitely made me want to read on.

  4. alicee18 on said:

    Great use of suspense Andrew! I was griped from start to finish and I nearly fell of my chair. I wondered how that golden key got there. Great work Andrew!

  5. RossMannell (Australia) on said:

    Hello Andew,

    I enjoy stories of spooky houses because of the many possibilities they might contain. As we explore a shared story, we don’t know whether the writer’s imagination will take us to fear, danger, relief or confusion. The writer has caught our interest and we join Mark in wondering whether to step inside.

    Your choice of adjectives and verbs added power to your story as we learn a zombie dwells inside. We have been taken to fear and end with relief as Mark escapes and decides not to return.

    Well done, Andrew. You should continue to develop your writing skills so we can have the opportunity to explore more adventures your imagination creates.

    Ross Mannell
    Teacher (retired), N.S.W., Australia

  6. AWhiteley (United Kingdom) on said:

    Andrew, I am a bit of a wimp so your story terrified me! Incredibly well written, I was gripped from start to finish! Well done!

  7. MrLiteracy (United Kingdom) on said:

    This is very spooky indeed, Andrew – I am glad i am reading this in the morning and not late at night! Congratulations.