Year 1 Persuasive Writing about a Chocolate Bar – YUMMY!

1892  views 0  favourites  comments

Check out the vocabulary! Sophie from Leeds has created her own chocolate bar and we feel a slot on Dragons’ Den is looming; you’ll see why with this powerfully persuasive piece!  Having read this, we’re off to raid the LMYL cupboards in search of chocolate – who cares if we ‘burst like a balloon’!  Yum!  Congratulations! 


Leave a Reply

  1. on said:

    I’ll buy your chocolate Sophie! Fantastic writing, well done and keep it up.

  2. trin1023 (United Kingdom) on said:

    Sophie, it sounds very tasty! Your vocabulary makes the descriptions come alive so well done! Congratulations for having your work published on LendMeYourLiteracy, Jon, Abu Dhabi, UAE

  3. hussin (afghistain) on said:

    you made me feel hungry now ………….
    well done to all of year 1 pupil.

  4. MrLiteracy (United Kingdom) on said:

    I love chocolate! This is incredible work for a Year 1 pupil, Sophie you must be very proud! I’m hungry now…

  5. groveroad on said:

    Sophie, this is wonderful writing, showing terrific vocabulary, sentence structure and general persuasion. We love the simile and the use of the words ‘absolutely delectable’! Your chocolate bar sounds delicious; where can we buy it? Congratulations!

    • i love the word delectable and you are making me hungry for more well done